Hate… is an interesting feeling. It is so ubiquitous and ever-present that you might not even notice degree of hate you are wrapped in. However, hate is only natural - not to say anything about the correctness or morality of it, but I do believe that hate is inherently natural to humankind. Generally speaking, no human is one-sided - most likely you, the reader, are composed from different feelings and experiences, that is, you exist on a spectrum and not its endpoints. Thus, you can be represented as intersection of several spheres of life, which form you as a person and personality. However, this also means that you are more inclined to openly support in-group(s), and on subconscious level reject out-groups. Sounds good so far. Then, since you are automatically rejecting out-groups, you will feel annoyed when you see them, and annoyance leads to hate. To this end, hate is only natural - you cannot do anything with it, you will hate. Sure, there is a certain kind of people that are less inclined to hate, but the population average will be a person who likes people that are like them and dislikes people who are not.

To expand on hate as a feeling, it is also worth mentioning that most people are exceptionally narrow-minded. What I mean by this is that many, many, will not want to image someone’s position, but there is a clear line between understanding someone’s point of view and accepting it. For example, sometimes when I argue with people I simply cannot understand them, because their position does not make sense to me. However, after apply certain amount of mental effort I begin to understand them, and when that moment hits I feel exceptionally good - just imagine that you unlock a different perspective on the world, it feels so fresh and liberating. Still, I might not fully agree or agree at all with people I am arguing with, but I will see their position, it will make sense to me, but I will, naturally, stay in line with in-group’s beliefs and predispositions. Going back to the population average, I do believe that people are incapable of going through such mental hoops, given that humanity as a whole is suffering from the lack of empathy (which is related to hate, as it can sometimes be seen as a direct opposite of it), thus I can assume that most people simply do not want to ‘assume’ other’s positions. And so, I have arrived at conclusion that hate is natural, but when you understand that you hate and do not wish to do anything with it — you decide to accept it and/or double down on it — that is a flaw.

So, what can be done about it? To be honest, not much. If you can understand how you think, then you probably should not hate, for you have the capacity not to. Nothing good comes from hate, and if you really really want to hate certain group you can always write them off as ‘weak/pathetic’ and pity them instead of hating, so that instead of being directly malicious you will direct them towards your ‘truth’. One could consider this to be even worse, but I believe this gives second party an opportunity to decide and ultimately makes them make a personal choice that is truly theirs. The general population does not and will not think beyond their beliefs, it is simply what it is. If you do want to change yourself to some extent, then there are some ways to think better (at least from personal experience). First, you just have to think about how you think. Assess your actions, people you talk to, how you talk to the in-group and the out-group, what biases you have and so on. Simply analyze yourself. At some point you will hit a certain group that you feel strongly about, which means that you’ve found where your hate begins (more or less). Then, you’d want to “put yourself in their shoes”. You will hate them and their worldview at first, but try to understand why they think like that, try to understand how they feel (both physically and mentally). This will take some effort, but with time you will begin to understand. Again, your goal is not to agree with their position, but to understand why and how. And then, eventually, you will have your moment of clarity. One more thing I’d want to mention is that you might as well try to engage with out-group more often. There were many cases in which I disliked certain person because my point was so different from theirs, but after observing them for a while and seeing their line of thought I began to understand them, which reduced amount of hate I had for them in my thoughts or removed the feeling entirely.

To wrap up: hate is natural as it stems from the basic concept of in- and out-groups, but you can change the way you think about people if you really want to. There is no urgent need to agree with them, but basic understanding and some degree of empathy is always needed and appreciated. I have been doing what I described above to myself for quite some time, and at this point there are very few people that I dislike or hate, and I do believe that this made my life simpler, so maybe you, the reader, should try doing something similar.